Quickest way to annoy a migraine sufferer? Tell them you get headaches, too. The typical headache that a non-migraineur experiences from having a cold, or mixing your reds and whites, is nothing like a migraine. I promise. A simple headache doesn't come with a full array of other symptoms and side effects. Neurologically, they are different. Though the NIH defines migraine as a headache disorder, it's misleading and dismissive to classify or associate a migraine with something you could get relief from by taking an aspirin with a glass of water.
Living with this incurable condition takes a level of patience that many can't appreciate. Not only do you have endure off-the-chart pain (which can kinda drive you batty after a while), you get to hear a whole lot of unsolicited advice from people who don't actually experience migraines, and have no idea about what causes migraines. They don't understand that you, as a person living with this, have probably already tried 100+ things. One good-intentioned person told me with absolute certainty that my hemipligic migraines (which he'd never heard of to that point) could be cured by taking magnesium. Now, yes, magnesium can be helpful for some people, but not for those of us that don't have a magnesium deficiency and not for all types of migraines. I don't have good advice in handling this unsolicited help. I've tried SO much, and have kind of started sounding like a broken record with some, explaining that 'it's not that type of migraine' and that my doctor and I are continuing to pursue what works best. If popping a vitamin was all I needed, or anyone else suffering from migraines of all variety, it wouldn't be in the top 10 most disabling illnesses in the world.
Worse than hearing a line from a non-medical person that sounds like, 'all ya gotta do is', is hearing from a physician that you can't be helped. If you do hear that, second guess it. Get another opinion. Doctors can get it wrong. They can choose to not hear you, and if they aren't specialists, and they aren't familiar with your particular diagnosis or challenges, they might think the wrong treatment was the only treatment, and dismiss you when it fails. You're not stuck with that doctor for life. Get another one. Do your homework. Read the reviews. What are their specialties? It might help to be very prepared for your second opinion. Doctors talk, especially specialists or in the same network, so have very specific details if you can, to help explain what's happening, how often, what hasn't worked (and very specific side effects if there were, because some doctors may want to retry failed methods), and how this is impacting your work, family and quality of life. You have to advocate for yourself, something that when combined with coping with chronic pain, can feel very much like a fulltime job. Many medical practices are going to follow your insurance guidelines to start, but a good doctor will advocate for you, to try things outside of their normal (and often ineffective) parameters. The more tangible information you provide, the more they can push to get you more options.
Stress is a major trigger for many of us. Trying to manage migraines, in itself, is stressful. Dealing with frustrating comments regarding your health from others, whether flippant or just naively ignorant can make you want to punch stuff. If you don't get migraines, but think you know more about them than someone who does, learn to duck.
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